While climbing the mountain of life, one of the most powerful and enjoyable exercises we can do is to periodically stop and appreciate the vista. When we can pause from our ascent (or even a place of descent into pain, frustration or fear from which we have previously ascended), we can more clearly see the discarded habits, thoughts and patterns that we have outgrown. This doesn't mean that we never return to these places; after all, they are well worn paths of our life. Making subsequent ascents may be easier because the path is already blazed and wisdom garnered but we will also be need inertia and will be fighting the downward force of gravity, which on the mountain, can be our shadow self.
When we climb out of deep woods and take a rest from the hard work of climbing we step out onto a vista where a new perspective arises. Today when I allowed myself to stand atop the vista and peer below, I was able to appreciate how I more consistently handle particular challenges with my children with greater calm, confidence and perspective than I once did. I noticed how I am kinder and gentler with myself. I recognized the ways in which I take better care of my physical body. From this vantage point, I took time to appreciate the fruits of my efforts: more harmony in the household, a growing sense of inner peace and improved digestion. Looking further up the mountain, I could see even more dramatic improvements on the higher horizon resulting from growing wisdom, sustained efforts and personal growth. Overall, this is a process of getting to know ourselves better and love ourselves more completely.
I was thinking about this concept during a walk into the woods this morning. It was an unusual New England day since the weather and temperature were so perfectly comfortable that there was nothing to even say about it - I'm imagining that the conversations at work this morning were more forced than usual without the standby weather icebreaker. My thoughts unfolded along with the uneven paths I was on. After a wonderful time in the woods reflecting, thinking and exercising all in the same hour, my phone rang. I recognized the number but couldn't place the caller, Upon answering, I immediately remembered that I had a 9:30 client call scheduled. I laughed out loud, shook my head and asked what I could possibly learn from all this. I went back to my mountain metaphor and perched on a vista overlooking the pattern of missed appointments in my past. What I immediately noticed was the lack of self-defeating talk in my head! Of course, I felt badly inconveniencing my client, but there was none of the shaming and blaming which always followed similar scheduling mishaps in the past. Also, I immediately saw the opportunity to look in and see what my higher self may be trying to tell me. When does this pattern arise? I realized that this pattern always arises when I fail to meet my particular needs to be in nature, to reflect and to exercise. For me, these are the highest and best ways in which I take care of myself.
What I also realized was that had I shamed and blamed myself, vowing to be more disciplined about checking my schedule and more careful with my time, I would have failed to see what my soul was desperately trying to communicate with me. I realized how ineffective beating myself was at generating "better" behavior. Shaming and blaming is like hiking in flimsy flip flops - unstable, uncomfortable and flirting with disaster. Most importantly, had I been stuck in blamesville, I would have missed out on the startling realization that I have, indeed, become much, much kinder to myself. That kindness towards myself gets paid forward to everyone with whom I come in contact and realizing the extent to which it already exists inspires me to keep hiking, viewing, appreciating and loving.
So now my client is rescheduled, I am encouraged and inspired by my own growth and I have dedicated time, in my calendar, to walk in nature tomorrow. What's the moral of my story? To prioritize my needs and make time for them before they make time for themselves!
