We all know that it's important to love ourselves. And many of us also want to lose weight, feel healthy and look great. However, how many of us subscribe to the "shame and blame" method to try to achieve health and wellness which is anything but a loving approach. This is how it works: you eat french fries and feel guilty about eating the french fries so you shame and blame yourself into feeling incredibly guity and ashamed for having eaten the fries. Another way shame and blame works is you find your jeans are too tight, you step on the scale and discover you have gained 5 pounds. What happens? Well, first of all, your day is now off to a lousy start and then perhaps you commit (in your head) to some approach that will take off those pounds (and maybe a few more). You are in essence saying to yourself, "I am so fed up with myself, I just can't stand it anymore and it's time for a change!" How has that worked out for you the last 10 times you've tried it? Shame and blame never lead to long-lasting, positive change. If it did, there would be no obesity epidemic in this country.
I believe that all of this shaming and blaming is getting us farther away from our goals of looking and feeling great and feeling free to love ourselves just how we are. We are also missing huge opportunities to discover why it is that we are falling short of our goals. Are you eating to fill an emotional void and if so, is there a better way to address those needs? Are you eating the wrong foods which override your body's innate ability to know when it's full, leaving you under-nourished and over-fed? When you come to a situation with love, curiosity and patience, you get to see what your real needs are and learn how to meet those needs directly. It doesn't feel good to overeat. It doesn't feel good to eat junk food. And it definitely doesn't feel good to be overweight and unhealthy.
So the next time you hear those shame and blame voices in your head, ask yourself, what unfulfilled need were you trying to fill with food? Once you realize how the food was serving you, you can replace the shame and blame with understanding and acceptance and you will be well on your way to making a healthier choice in the future.
